1. What is the best (or the worst) joke you’ve ever heard. (Or at least can remember.)

What do you see when you look down a mole hole? molASSES.

2. Who is your favorite superhero?

Captain Planet – I’m a little bit granola.

3. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

To speak all languages.

4. You are having a Moonshine Roof Garden party at Preservation Pub. What three historical/celebrity/fictional famous guests would you like to host?

My grandparents, Doug and Joy, who passed away, and my sister. They eloped and my grandmother wore pink. She lived in San Francisco and apparently wrote a book. It would be amazing to know more about her life and how they fell in love.

5. Who would you have play yourself in a movie about your life?

Maggie Gyllenhaal, perhaps.

6. If you were going to torture someone, how would you do it?

Give them permanent hiccups.

7. Describe your worst date ever.

I didn’t realize it was a date when I said yes, but when he walked in and gave me ‘the look,’ I knew I was in trouble. Then I had to tell my boyfriend I just went on a date with another guy.

8. Who is your least favorite celebrity?

Tyra Banks. She has a big forehead and sucks at smizing (smiling with your eyes.)

9. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

I’d drink red wine all day, go swimming in the river, and grill for dinner.

10. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

A meat and cheese plate.

11. Describe the worst band you’ve ever seen.

I saw Creed in concert in middle school. They sound just as horrible in real life.

13. Describe Hell.

The KFC in McMinnville.

14. What would you like to put on your tombstone?

“She was funny.”

15. Describe God.

In Peru, they call spirituality ‘Pacha Mama,’ which translates to ‘Mother Earth.’ I prefer to think of God that way.