Q: What’s the best joke you know?
Q: Who is your most least favorite celebrity?
A: It’s a toss-up, between Kim Kardashian, and Oprah.
Q: Describe Hell.
A: A hot place I’d never want to be. Hotter than Bonnaroo.
Q: If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Q: Describe your worst date ever.
A: I thought I was on a date, but I wasn’t. I found out when I paid for my own food.
Q: Describe God.
Q: You’re having a Moonshine Roof Garden Party at Preservation Pub. What three celebrity/historical guests would you like to host?
A: [Victoria’s Secret model] Lilly Aldrin; Jared Followill [Kings of Leon]; and Zach Velmer, the drummer from Sound Tribe Sector 9.
Q: If you were going to torture someone, how would you do it?
A: I’d sing to them.
Q: What would you like to put on your tombstone?
A: “April like the month, Brown like the color.”
Q: What is your least favorite song?
A: Anything by Mariah Carey. She sucks.
Q: Who is your favorite superhero?
A: The Man of f#$%ing Steel.
Q: Describe your most embarrassing drunken moment.
A: I was making out with a boy in the bathroom of a bar. And there was another time I saw this guy I thought was really cute. So I’m strutting around trying to show off, and I fell and busted my ass right next to the stairwell.