Who do you think you are: getting sideways with Oodles server/bartendress Emily Crutcher

emily crutcher

Q: Who is your favorite superhero?

A: I like the Hulk a lot. I’ve always liked the Hulk; I think he’s sensitive.

Q: Describe your worst date ever.

A: It was a recurring horrible date. My ex-boyfriend took me to IHOP all the time. I never had the heart to tell him that I hate IHOP.

Q: Who is your most hated celebrity?

A: Taylor Swift.

Q: Describe Hell.

A: Pitch black. Really hot, and playing loud dubstep.

Q: If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

A: Anything that came to mind. Go to the mountains; try to hit the ocean; and try every drug.

Q: Describe God.

A: I think he’s non-judgmental, caring, and a free spirit.

Q: You’re having a Moonshine Roof Garden party at Preservation Pub. What three famous historical or fictional guests would you like to host?

A: Jimi Hendrix; George Washington; and Jason Segal.

Q: What is your least favorite song.

A: That new “Selfie” song [by The Chainsmokers]. Worst. Song. Ever.

Q: Describe your most embarrassing moment.

A: There was a famous metal band in town, which I’d never listened to. They were hanging out in a bar, and one of the guitarists latched onto me. And I ended up going back to their tour bus. My friends followed me because they knew I was wasted. I ended up in the back of a tour bus, um, “having a conversation” with this guy, until  eventually my friends had to come and get me out. Otherwise, I was going to be going to Atlanta.

Then we peed in the alley. There was that time, and then the time I threw up on my chicken. At dinner with my parents.



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