Q: Tell us a joke.
A: Why did the can-crusher quit his job? Because it was so depressing.
Q: Who’s your favorite superhero?
A: Wonder Woman is pretty cool. She has a pretty cool outfit, and an invisible plane.
Q: What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?
A: I’ve heard a million, all in reference to my name. Stuff like, “Are you my Destiny?”
Q: Describe your most embarrassing moment.
A: I went to the wrong apartment one night. It was these two guys that I knew. And I just walked right in and sat down on the sofa while they were in the kitchen, without realizing the difference.
Q: If you were going to torture someone, how would you do it?
A: I’d lock them in a room with a CD player, and set “Who Let the Dogs Out?” on repeat.
Q: What was the worst band you ever heard?
A: Skrillex. Does that count as a band? At the time and place, it was the worst thing I’d ever heard. I was working 20-hour days at Bonnaroo, and I had to fight through a crowd of Skrillex zombies to find my friends and get our keys so I could go to sleep.
Q: Describe the worst date you ever had.
A: I drove about two-and-a-half hours to visit this guy. We hadn’t been out before, but we’d talked on the phone. The whole time I was there, he made me pay for everything we did.
I didn’t stay long.
Q: Describe Hell.
A: Being in one of those reality TV shows like “The Bachelorette.” Watching them kind of sucks, too.
Q: Who are your most hated celebrities?
A: The Jersey Shore girls.
Q: You’re having a Moonshine Roof Garden party at Preservation Pub. What three famous guests would you like to host?
A: Mozart; the comedian Mitch Hedberg; and Dolly Parton.
Q: Describe God.
A: I don’t even know where to start with that one.
Q: If you could invent your own designer drug, how would it make you feel?
Q: If you met the Devil, what would you say to him?
A: “Are you following me?”