Q: What’s the best (or worst) joke you’ve ever heard?
A: So this redneck walks into a yoga studio during class. And he’s hootin’ and hollerin’, making all kinds of noise. And the yoga teacher says, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. And he says, Namaste.
It’s the kind of joke you really have to hear, rather than read.
Q: Who’s your favorite superhero.
A: Hellboy. He really likes cats.
Q: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
A: Teleportation. Cut down on driving time.
Q: What’s your most embarrassing drunken moment?
A: I slept-barfed once. I crawled to the toilet and barfed, and didn’t remember it. But I did get it in the toilet, so I guess it’s not that bad. I guess I feel pretty good about myself.
Q: You’re having a Moonshine Roof Garden party at Preservation Pub. What three historical or fictional guests would you like to host?
A: Carl Sagan, Rumi, and Daniel-Day Lewis. And it would be nice to see my boyfriend [Black Lillies guitarist Tom Pryor].
Q: What would you like to be when you grow up?
A: A musician.
Q: What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
A: I’m a people pleaser, so I like to stay out of trouble. I’m usually just a white-liar.
Q: If you were going to torture somebody, how would you do it?
A: Maybe just pulling off their limbs and beating them with them. Or that bamboo torture where they tie you down and let bamboo shoots grow up into you. Yeah, I think the bamboo torture is the way to go.
Q: If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
A: I’d like to go to Spain. And I’ve always wanted to take off all my clothes, jump up on a table and scream. Just get crazy. Maybe tell a couple of people to f@#$ off.
Q: What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
A: John Mayer. And I really like Home and Garden TV.
Q: Describe Hell.
A: Hell is here and now, for sure. Hell is on earth. Or just being alone would be really rough. Or afraid.
Q: Describe the worst band you’ve ever heard.
A: Steel drums. White people trying to be black. Ten-minute songs and no clue how shitty they were. And prog-y. Real prog-y.
Q: What would you like to put on your tombstone?
A: I keep thinking ‘Badass Motherf@#$er.”
Q: Describe your worst date.
A: My boyfriend Tom took me to Weigel’s for breakfast. And I’m a vegetarian.
Q: What’s the best (or worst?) rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself?
A: Maybe that I’m a bitch?
Q: What would you do for your 15 minutes of fame?
A: Playing a badass show would be cool. A totally epic rock show.
Q: What do you think when you look in the mirror?
A: I need to get my teeth fixed.
Q: Describe God.
A: God is everywhere. God is just an interconnectedness. God is evolution. Oneness. Compassion.
Q: If you could create your own designer drug, how would it make you feel?
A: Fuzzy. I like downers.
Q: If you met the Devil, what would you say to him?
A: Sorry, bro.
Q: Who would you tap to play yourself in a movie?
A: Keira Knightley.