Jon E.: He or She?

Q: Who’s your favorite band, and why?

A: The band Yes. Because they broke the mold in the progressive rock scene. They broke the mold of what was acceptable according to rock standards, and seemed to channel music that was from a different vibrational state.

Q: What’s the best (or worst) joke you’ve ever heard?

A: What’s the world’s largest pencil? Pennsylvania!

Q: Which superhero would you choose to be, and why?

A: Daredevil. Depending on the author, he didn’t necessarily have superpowers, just enhanced senses. And he was an attorney, and everyone loves a good legal drama.

Q: What superpower would you like to have, and why?

A: Telekinesis. Because if it’s utilized correctly, you could pretty much accomplish anything you wanted, including flight. You could access the molecular structure of matter, and transform physical reality.

Q: What was your most embarrassing drunken moment?

A: Probably when I blacked out and fell into a campfire and got second- and third-degree burns on my right arm. Try explaining that to your grandparents.

Q: You’re having a Moonlight Roof Garden party at Preservation Pub. What three historical or fictional guests would you like to host?

A: Nikola Tesla, Bill Hicks, and an ambassador from another planet.

Q: What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

A: I know what I’m doing.

Q: If you were going to torture someone, how would you do it?

A: Psychedelic drugs, accompanied by hours of continuous overly dramatic opera music.

Q: What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

A: Enya.

Q: Describe Hell.

A: Spending an eternity answering these questions.

Q: What would you do for your 15 minutes of fame?

A: Go streaking through the White House.

Q: If you were going to invent your own designer drug, how would it make you feel?

A: Like stopping whatever you’re doing, and going out and doing whatever it is you’d rather be doing.